3 Things Your Junior Employees Are Dying To Hear
Be the boss you needed when you were young and paranoid about everything <3
At Work:
There is a utopia where young people don’t have insecurities and no one needs external validation to feel at peace with their day’s worth of work. We live nowhere near that utopia, and as someone who leads a brilliant team of delightful, vibrant Gen Z-ers, I'm very familiar to the undue stress they put on themselves, working themselves up to a tizzy over a tiny mistake, or misinterpreting a simple Slack message as an ultimate harbinger of professional doom.
I empathize deeply with these young talents because I was just like them. The early stages of my career were marred by personal and professional insecurities, which made it impossible for me to find my chill at work and actually grow. It took me a long time to embrace missteps as opportunities to cultivate self-confidence, self-trust, and self-compassion, and wield vulnerability at work like the power tool it is. Once I had all of that in my toolkit, you better believe my work life got so much better.
I’m a caregiver by nature and training, so when I see young people suffering in ways that are familiar to me, it’s my instinct to give them the tools I wish I had during my tumultuous twenties.
Being an educator as well, I understand that change doesn't happen overnight; people need guidance to unlearn harmful thought patterns.
Self-confidence, self-trust, and self-compassion are skills that can be cultivated, but they require a supportive environment and time to flourish, which are often scarce for junior employees learning the ropes on the job.
As a manager, I consider it my responsibility to steward these characteristics for my team. I know that the vulnerability and courage that comes from wrestling anxiety and perfectionism will only benefit them and our work together.
I do this in part by strategically offer validation to my junior team members. It's not about coddling them, but rather modeling and reinforcing behavior that will help them make their own self-confidence so they don’t get crippled by anxiety and perfectionism.
Here are three phrases I keep in my toolbox to nurture my team, quell distracting anxieties, and encourage them to embrace vulnerability:
I’m so glad you told me.
I’m glad you asked.
I told [so and so] about your work.
Let’s break these down:
1. I’m glad you told me:
The lesson: Don’t stuff your feelings.
Sharing your emotions takes guts! But pretending like you’re not feeling something doesn’t work, either, and can really kill the vibe of a team. Your managers and coworkers will be thrilled when you spare them the guesswork or give them feedback that could benefit the entire team.
2. I’m glad you asked:
The lesson: Good questions are usually more valuable than good answers.
I want my team to be guided by the quality of their questions rather than hiding behind or clamoring for answers.
3. I told [so and so] about your work:
The lesson: I’ve got your back, even when you don’t know it.
Junior team members sometimes miss out on recognition or opportunities to showcase their work. But it doesn’t mean anything to them if they don’t hear about it. There’s nothing more demoralizing than working your ass off for someone else and never knowing what has come fo it. So when I (or other people) sing my team’s praises, I make a point to tell them so they don’t feel like their work is lost to an abyss.
Self-confidence and self-compassion aren’t just personal growth buzzwords. They are vital aspects of our professional journey that deserve attention within the confines of our work lives, rather than being relegated to off-duty hours. But it’s on us to start fostering that environment for our teams to grow.
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And now, moving on to after hours…
At Leisure:
Anyone who knows me knows I worship at the altar at Ted Lasso, so while this may be the first time I recommend this show, it certainly won’t be the last. It felt only right to kick off this Substack by paying tribute to the show that embodies my beliefs about leadership, teamwork, authenticity, vulnerability, and meaningful work.
If you haven’t watched it, watch it. Just bite the bullet and just sign up for AppleTV! If you have seen it, pick any episode and look for the moments where Ted shows us how to foster an environment where anxieties are quelled through nurturing rather than baiting them with competition and perfectionism. A standout example is Ted’s relationship with Nate in Season 1, though we might have to unpack the arc of that relationship in another post (or two or three)! Much more on this later.
For those who are familiar with the show, I'd love to hear your favorite instances of validating and nurturing employees to foster a culture of self-confidence and self-compassion.